Happy Birthday to a beautiful woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend to many! We love her and miss her, but still feel the joy she brings into our lives – even since her passing. Karen showed us how to live, long before she found out about her cancer. Her tag line on Skype sums it up completely: “Life is good… and God loves us. Take time to enjoy your day, everyday.”

I would like everyone who comes by www.KarensDay.com or Karen’s Facebook page to know that your visits are very helpful to all of us who are still missing Karen and grieving daily. It touches us in the same way as the hundreds who came to the visitation and/or the funeral in January. It helps us all to know that Karen is thought so well of and so much by so many. She will be in the minds and hearts of many of us for the rest of our lives. She made such a strong impression on those she met. Karen treated people the way we all wish we could treat everyone we meet.

I thank her and ask God to bless her for what she taught us, for sharing her life and for the way she loved us all.

Don: I promise, this is not an April Fools Day prank. I may be 53 years old and have always believed in God, but I have never been baptized. Most of you who will read this note have already read the rest of this blog. You know that it seems that Karen and I posted everything that ever happened during our 15 months we were mostly in Gainesville. Well I looked today and see at least one thing we didn’t mention. It was during our last stretch at Shands, over two months. They were not letting us out on day passess so Karen had to stay in the hospital the whole time. I called Pastor Calvin Carr of North Central Baptist Church of Gainesville (www.GatorChurch.com) and asked if he would visit. He came out on October 30. I did mention having a visit from him in my post of that day. What I didn’t mention was that during that visit Karen told Pastor Calvin that when we got out, we were coming back to his church so that I could get baptized. He said he would be honored to do that for us.

We did get out but…well you have read what all happened the last two weeks. The important thing to let you know today is that I had let Pastor Calvin know about a week after Karen’s funeral that I needed to fullfill Karen’s request and we have been trying to make that happen ever since. This Sunday, April 3, 2011 is the first time they have baptized anyone since that phone call. So, if you are in Gainesville on Sunday night at 6:00pm, you can see this important moment of my life. It is important to me and God and was one of Karen’s remaining things she wanted for us both.

I love you Karen. I love you Jesus.

Don: I love you, Karen.

It has been 3 months today since Karen passed. I now understand that there are many things in life that those who have not experienced them can not truly know how they feel. Think about the first time you fell in love. For many, the first time may not have really been love, but you thought it was. Nothing compares to the feeling of deep and true love. However you will never know it, until you experience it. No one is ever going to be able to explain it to you well enough that you can feel it. Some of you may be nodding in agreement as you read this.

The same holds true for the death of a spouse. One that is lost at what seems to be the hieght of love built in a few short years and that was forged the last year into something even bigger, higher and deeper by joining together to battle Leukemia. There may be a few things that come close, but I have never experienced any others myself . To be honest, I never would have thought it could hurt this much. No matter what I write here, those of you who have never experienced this can not know what it feels like. So how can I possibly share my feelings and find comfort in the words of encouragement that the unexperienced offer? The truth is, I can’t.

Last week a friend confided being in a similar situation before and told me that, for them, being able to talk to people who shared the experience was the most helpful. They were going to make some calls to find a contact for me to get some help. As I had almost reached this 3 month mark, my grief was seeming to intensify and the phone call from my friend was right on time. God knows our needs. Two days later, I got a call from Widowed Persons Service (http://www.knology.net/~wpsemeraldcoast/). It is on the corner of 12th and Grace Avenue in Panama City. I went to their Tuesday Grief and Support Group meeting. I believe it is exactly what I need. To anyone having trouble in their life, I want to strongly suggest finding a support organization of people who have been there. When I got the call from WPS, I called my friend to thank them for their help. They told me that they had not been in touch with anyone yet and did not know how WPS knew to call me so long after Karen’s death. I know why they called.

God knows our needs.