This Doctor is amazing.  He spent so much time with us.  Handing printed out information specifice to my condition, speaking with us for hours about treatment standard and what to except.  He stated with AML if you take all patients across the board from all ages, health, and backgrounds it is possible for a 25 % cure rate without recurrence.  He said you can take the same people and get a 50/50 chance of remission after the first induction (approx. 1 month of chemotherapy).  Without treatment a person in my condition would have approximately 3 months to live.  With treatment if things do not go well then it is possible to only make it about 3 months also.  He also stated that several things that are on my side is the fact that I am considered young with great health prior to this, and no health risk behavoirs such and smoking or drinking, or working around harsh chemicals, etc.  Anyway, we came here to fight cancer and that is what we are going to do.  oh yeah , they also checked me for a genetic marker  called the flit3 gene.  Only 30% of patients with AML have it and it does tend to have a negative effect on the prognosis.  So anyway, I have it, so I am also participating in a blind research study where I may recieve another chemotherapy medication to prevent the negative effects of this flit3 gene.  I could just get the placebo, but were gonna be praying for the real drug especially if it is helpful.  Lots of information.  He was very direct and laid it all out there on the line.  there are times that i just want to get in the car and drive away…and yes shed some tears….I do not feel it  is a lack of faith but more I wish it wasn’t me.  I cant’ imagine who I would give it to.  Not even my worst enemy.  I miss my family and this is going to make me have to be strong.  I am a big baby and have always considered myself a little spoiled.  This will be my test.  It’s weird though, because after every melt down and eventual prayer, I seem to wake in the morning with a new resolve and ready to take on the next day, whatever it brings.  Thanks for all the prayers and support.