Don: I love you, Karen.

It has been 3 months today since Karen passed. I now understand that there are many things in life that those who have not experienced them can not truly know how they feel. Think about the first time you fell in love. For many, the first time may not have really been love, but you thought it was. Nothing compares to the feeling of deep and true love. However you will never know it, until you experience it. No one is ever going to be able to explain it to you well enough that you can feel it. Some of you may be nodding in agreement as you read this.

The same holds true for the death of a spouse. One that is lost at what seems to be the hieght of love built in a few short years and that was forged the last year into something even bigger, higher and deeper by joining together to battle Leukemia. There may be a few things that come close, but I have never experienced any others myself . To be honest, I never would have thought it could hurt this much. No matter what I write here, those of you who have never experienced this can not know what it feels like. So how can I possibly share my feelings and find comfort in the words of encouragement that the unexperienced offer? The truth is, I can’t.

Last week a friend confided being in a similar situation before and told me that, for them, being able to talk to people who shared the experience was the most helpful. They were going to make some calls to find a contact for me to get some help. As I had almost reached this 3 month mark, my grief was seeming to intensify and the phone call from my friend was right on time. God knows our needs. Two days later, I got a call from Widowed Persons Service (http://www.knology.net/~wpsemeraldcoast/). It is on the corner of 12th and Grace Avenue in Panama City. I went to their Tuesday Grief and Support Group meeting. I believe it is exactly what I need. To anyone having trouble in their life, I want to strongly suggest finding a support organization of people who have been there. When I got the call from WPS, I called my friend to thank them for their help. They told me that they had not been in touch with anyone yet and did not know how WPS knew to call me so long after Karen’s death. I know why they called.

God knows our needs.